Watch Your Back

Watch your back.

 

A young couple with a three old kid were on a holiday, when the husband died of massive bleeding in the brain. We get to see lot of young dying of strokes and accidents. The young father may have had lot of plans for the future. He may have planned a life for his child and may have thought of so many wonderful things he will be able to give his kid. How wonderful he should be as a father and how his kid should achieve. He may have planned a future of achieving himself for the sake of his family. All that was lost the moment he lost his life and now the family is lost. Before wife realises funeral and post funeral events are finished. Reality has kicked in; the journey of this family has taken a turn and life so different than, what it would have been.

 If the lady is working, she can get back in and build a life. If she is not, she is stuck.  Parents may force her to get married and if she does, again the life is different. While she builds a new life with the new husband, the kid’s life takes a turn unless the new step father is good enough. Finances of the previous husband may be taken over by the new husband, either by patriarchal view or by an emotional blackmail by the new husband. The new step father may not put his dreams on to this kid.  He may want his own kids with her and they get preference while the neglect of the first continues. The dream for the kid what his father dreamt may stall by the turn of events. The whole life of the first kid is going to be anger and detest.

Another young mother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and the family is devastated. The young kid had no idea what is happening. Lot of resources were spent on treatment making them poorer by 30 – 40 % of their savings. This situation is very difficult, as the lady has to literally go through her mind about the possibilities of the future.  While the lady goes through her hell of a life, the husband has to continue to gather lot of finances for present and future. Nobody knows what is in store. Life gets shorter and still shorter to make the best. In the unfortunate event, the husband may remarry. The newer wife may or may not be the best for the kid. The charm of the new wife can ruin this kid’s life. 

Jaywalking youngsters have an arrogance of life. When you tell them they can be offensive. They assume they have superior skills of multitasking.  I do have higher threshold for offense and broader spectrum just like my fellow Indians. Teaching people is a difficult task; invariably you will get offended and may lose people. But you have to fight your way to get there. Reality hurts people and Indians like to avoid it. We live in a state of euphoria and we like only euphoric moments which are provided by our movies. We cannot accept reality and enjoy short bits of euphoric moments getting away from the real disturbing Indian life style. Over time we have built up an arrogance of total disregard for self safety. We show off unmindful of the consequences of other’s mistakes. We are very confident of ourselves so much we are unaware of the unexpected. 

Expecting the unexpected is not in our dictionary.  Any advice is looked up by contempt. A fraction of a second loss of concentration by a driver can knock you down and you may lose your life or may be bed ridden. There are millions of morons on the road, who are not worth driving. All of them are high on arrogance speaking over the phone or texting and browsing through while driving. They can run in to you, even if you are following your side of rule. You cannot blame them after you have lost your leg or life. Or the other way around, you may be driving like them and cause accidents.  Millions are warned every day, yet nobody cares. But it is a style statement, nobody stops doing it. Only hospitals are laughing all the way to mortuary and are equipping themselves for their arrival. 

The problem is how prepared are you for this kind of lifestyle. Loss of life of a loved one can occur from hundreds of causes. Disability can be drain on your resources. When you have a loss of life, there is a sudden void in the people around you. If you have started a family, the family can go in to irreparable loss. The direction of life may change for everybody. How have you secured yourself?

Family is secondary to a marriage, which is basically a business deal, leaving aside the hormonal necessities and commitment of societal compulsions. You still have the ego and jealousy in a commitment. Yet we find it hard to accept the reality of what a relationship can be. Irrespective of love and deeper attachment of a relationship, there still is a business deal in all the relations. Every relation in a family whether it is around parents and children or siblings and spouses finally it boils down to subtle to massive business deal.

 We all make a family with the intention of living life to our old age. We plan our kid’s future and expect them to do well to take care of themselves and us. What we do not know is what can go wrong. Right from spouse to children can leave us and we may be stranded. Expectations are high, and returns are very less. We have to plan our life in such way, that everybody gets security from the misdeeds of any member of the family, either parents or the children. Wise handling and proper planning will help the remaining in distress.

Is your child secured from future second husband or wife? Is your money only going to your kid or somebody else’s? The unfortunate incidents happen to millions of people and it can happen to anybody. How to secure the life of our close ones and ourselves? We need to look at reality and plan the same. How do you will your property? How will your near ones know what all you have in your name? Many times people would not know all the wealth stored by their near ones even after death, as they never had a plan of disclosing till their death. Everybody keeps the secret till the end and before you know, they are dead.

How are the women securing themselves? Many marriages fail, and at the end of the day, the woman is left to fend for herself. If she is not working, life is difficult. Many people do not even realise that they have to secure themselves, expecting the unexpected. It is like prenuptial agreement. You are trying to make it work, at the same time you are securing for the unexpected. The problem with Indians is that they assume once you are married everything is settled. It will be just like their parents and relatives. The life will go on till you get old. Things are changing; do not underestimate the reality of the present. Have you prepared yourself, in case the spouse is lost either by loss of life or divorce?  

Have you prepared yourself to be a single parent or a new parent when the new partner comes along?  What is the guarantee you will do justice with your kid? Or have you thought of your kid losing both the parents? Who will be there for the kid? We do not even have an authentic foster care for these situations in the country. They end up with nearer ones who only want their parent’s money and not them. 

People are so engrossed in acquiring wealth; they neglect everything from family, society and themselves. Wealth is given utmost importance in their personal life, they do not even realise what happens to that wealth, in an unfortunate incident. The same discussion turned funny, about the possibilities of what can happen to that wealth in an untimely loss of life. Just imagine who all will be waiting for the opportune moment to get to your vault. Usually the unwanted ones, whom you have kept away, end up conning and taking advantage of the situation.

Life is uncertain. Anything can happen to anybody. It is the level of preparedness we have which matters. It is not easy to accept. When there is a loss of life or disability, the family goes through lot of emotional turmoil. And finally everything comes to man power and finances, it’s only human. 

I am just raising the above points of uncertainty. I am not giving you answers on my own. But looking at life in all perspectives is the way to life. Get out of tunnel vision and have broader perspective. 

PS: All the images are copied from Google search for illustraion.  

I Am Better Than You

I Am Better Than You

My father wanted a son badly. But god had different views. May be he was funny; he gave him girls and many of them. Finally he went to a famous swami for blessings to have a son. The swami blessed and assured him that he will have two sons. Instead he had some more girls. He was so angry with god; he broke everything about god in the house, stomped on them and threw them. From that day he became an atheist. Later in spite of having two sons, he did not believe in god till he died. He died early, may be god got tired of him and took him away.

I grew up with very little religious beliefs. God came in to our life on festival days and whenever there was a temple visit. There were no daily praying and all that.  People at home were religious, but we didn't have a set plan for god. We prayed to god when in need with no rules.  We were scared of God, as heaven and hell were very well communicated by elders. We were literally scared of hell, as the devils up there were very good in frying and boiling us alive in oil. That was really scary for anybody, so doing dirty deeds were out of the question.

As I grew up I was introduced to many more gods. Gods of different religions were accepted in the same prayer hall and prayed in our boarding school. Next boarding school accepted all religions in its fold. We never had animosity for other religion or gods. We were taught that all roads lead to god, which ever route you take, the routes being the religions. We prayed regularly and god came back in to my life. Officially I was a believer and god was helping me through my life. Over time I got to know more gods from my religion and other religions.

When I started work, my work place started work with prayer and recitation. Many times I also recited, though I was the only one of a different religion and I did not have any problem.  One day the chief asked me why I do not believe in only living god for which I could only smile. With so many gods around me, didn't mind another god to my list.  By now I was confused with so many gods and constant reminder by people of how their god is better and how others can live without their god. I asked one boss in rounds. Sir, how is it that God is not angry with non followers and why so many millions are of different religion?  If the God was only one and he is supreme, why is it he can’t get all of them to follow him?  Or is it that he is having some fun, looking at how stupid we are killing each other. Answers didn't satisfy me. And god disappeared from my life again.

God has been my constant search, as I see millions of religious Indians. Indians are a brand. We have an Indian who is a brand with a logo. You can literally look at a person and know he belongs to certain brand. It is just like a car brand. Take the logo out and you still can say which brand it is, a trait set by the brand. Like that we tend to set a trait in our behavior  attitude, dress or our additional logos to show off to others, who we are and where we belong. This is to show we are better and ours is better, maybe you should think of following us.  Everybody wants to show who they are and where they belong. God is used everywhere and for everything. God is given to everybody, whether asked or not. If you open a Face book page, you see so many gods in so many styles and varieties, god is worried. He did not know he had such corporate style. He has advanced to I Pad world. Now you can see god online and pray online.

Assume God is in charge of our solar system. Where does he stay, he cannot stay in the sun, he may burn. Then he can’t be in moon also we have visited moon.  May be in Jupiter or mercury or like we say paradise. Paradise may be a super planet, not yet discovered by the humans, as the god has not yet decided on showing the world. May be many solar systems are headed by different gods while they stay together in this super planet.  And all are fighting for their numbers like politicians and corporate. Earth is their biggest territorial dispute.  And it may have gone higher up to be solved in god’s court of united planets.

Many people over the years have asked me whether I believe in god. And I have always told them that I do. For that I do not have to show them I do. I have nothing around that shows that God is with me. God is personal, very personal. He is not an object to be projected everywhere. He is not a politician and he does not need votes. May be he needs some space and I give him space. I pray to him but I keep him at home. Neither do I take him everywhere I go nor do I tell everybody about him.  He is in my heart and all I have to do is follow his principle of being human.

 People bring god everywhere and want to share with everybody, only thing they do not do is what god is asking them. Being human, kind and honest.  If all the religious people other than the realists of this country were to follow the principle of their god, we would have had paradise on earth. There would be no corruption, crime and inequality. Instead we have the most corrupt, racist and criminal people in this world.  And all of them are religious. God has more followers of corrupt, racist and criminal background than the honest ones. That is the irony of god. No wonder he has not made up his mind to visit his property and his children.

I was in a small town for a few years which was so religious; you just had to drive around the city to know.  The town had lot of hillocks around. Every boulder was painted with all the religious signs.  Every religion had made their presence. If one goes higher other one goes higher than that. If one is bigger other one goes bigger than that. They were showing that they were higher, bigger and better. This attitude is building hatred among everybody and the younger generation are growing up with more hatred. You can see how religious our country has gone compared to ten years ago. We are getting more religious and we are making it obvious by showing off. This is offending others who in turn are getting more religious themselves and getting defensive.

Religious beliefs are like husband and wife relation. You continuously insult the other to win an argument. More you try to prove you are better is by going low in life. You cannot win; there is always resistance from the other end. Everything you believe as right is opposed by the other. Nobody will let go and accept you, unless you accept.

God will not be coming shortly to solve our problems till our race is wiped off. He may come back later and start a new civilization  I have had a love and hate relationship with god. When in need I go to him, sometimes I get angry with him and stop believing him. And it is all very personal; nobody is involved in my relationship with him. I do not need an identity from him, because I do not intend to intimidate the others. I give space for their belief and respect that. That is the reason I keep my god at home and in my heart. Even in my house he is not displayed in every nook and corner. He has place and he stays there. He does not need a form and especially he does not need an advertisement.

I am better than you, is an attitude practiced by humans in many ways. It is present in everyday activity, involving caste, creed and religion. It is harassment and intimidation. And it is shown in many different ways and we all come across in daily life. Just imagine how many friends you have missed by this, who could have come from so many different traits and built you in your personal life. 

This attitude builds defense from the other person who turns in to hatred and mob building. There are many people who take advantage of this to build an army of people with hatred.

World peace which has been talked about in the world can be achieved by the people themselves. All you have to do is leave your identity at home. Be a global citizen you will be accepted everywhere. More you want to show your identity, more you are a suspect.

PS: All the pictures were picked up from Google search. 

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