Watch Your Back

Watch your back.

 

A young couple with a three old kid were on a holiday, when the husband died of massive bleeding in the brain. We get to see lot of young dying of strokes and accidents. The young father may have had lot of plans for the future. He may have planned a life for his child and may have thought of so many wonderful things he will be able to give his kid. How wonderful he should be as a father and how his kid should achieve. He may have planned a future of achieving himself for the sake of his family. All that was lost the moment he lost his life and now the family is lost. Before wife realises funeral and post funeral events are finished. Reality has kicked in; the journey of this family has taken a turn and life so different than, what it would have been.

 If the lady is working, she can get back in and build a life. If she is not, she is stuck.  Parents may force her to get married and if she does, again the life is different. While she builds a new life with the new husband, the kid’s life takes a turn unless the new step father is good enough. Finances of the previous husband may be taken over by the new husband, either by patriarchal view or by an emotional blackmail by the new husband. The new step father may not put his dreams on to this kid.  He may want his own kids with her and they get preference while the neglect of the first continues. The dream for the kid what his father dreamt may stall by the turn of events. The whole life of the first kid is going to be anger and detest.

Another young mother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and the family is devastated. The young kid had no idea what is happening. Lot of resources were spent on treatment making them poorer by 30 – 40 % of their savings. This situation is very difficult, as the lady has to literally go through her mind about the possibilities of the future.  While the lady goes through her hell of a life, the husband has to continue to gather lot of finances for present and future. Nobody knows what is in store. Life gets shorter and still shorter to make the best. In the unfortunate event, the husband may remarry. The newer wife may or may not be the best for the kid. The charm of the new wife can ruin this kid’s life. 

Jaywalking youngsters have an arrogance of life. When you tell them they can be offensive. They assume they have superior skills of multitasking.  I do have higher threshold for offense and broader spectrum just like my fellow Indians. Teaching people is a difficult task; invariably you will get offended and may lose people. But you have to fight your way to get there. Reality hurts people and Indians like to avoid it. We live in a state of euphoria and we like only euphoric moments which are provided by our movies. We cannot accept reality and enjoy short bits of euphoric moments getting away from the real disturbing Indian life style. Over time we have built up an arrogance of total disregard for self safety. We show off unmindful of the consequences of other’s mistakes. We are very confident of ourselves so much we are unaware of the unexpected. 

Expecting the unexpected is not in our dictionary.  Any advice is looked up by contempt. A fraction of a second loss of concentration by a driver can knock you down and you may lose your life or may be bed ridden. There are millions of morons on the road, who are not worth driving. All of them are high on arrogance speaking over the phone or texting and browsing through while driving. They can run in to you, even if you are following your side of rule. You cannot blame them after you have lost your leg or life. Or the other way around, you may be driving like them and cause accidents.  Millions are warned every day, yet nobody cares. But it is a style statement, nobody stops doing it. Only hospitals are laughing all the way to mortuary and are equipping themselves for their arrival. 

The problem is how prepared are you for this kind of lifestyle. Loss of life of a loved one can occur from hundreds of causes. Disability can be drain on your resources. When you have a loss of life, there is a sudden void in the people around you. If you have started a family, the family can go in to irreparable loss. The direction of life may change for everybody. How have you secured yourself?

Family is secondary to a marriage, which is basically a business deal, leaving aside the hormonal necessities and commitment of societal compulsions. You still have the ego and jealousy in a commitment. Yet we find it hard to accept the reality of what a relationship can be. Irrespective of love and deeper attachment of a relationship, there still is a business deal in all the relations. Every relation in a family whether it is around parents and children or siblings and spouses finally it boils down to subtle to massive business deal.

 We all make a family with the intention of living life to our old age. We plan our kid’s future and expect them to do well to take care of themselves and us. What we do not know is what can go wrong. Right from spouse to children can leave us and we may be stranded. Expectations are high, and returns are very less. We have to plan our life in such way, that everybody gets security from the misdeeds of any member of the family, either parents or the children. Wise handling and proper planning will help the remaining in distress.

Is your child secured from future second husband or wife? Is your money only going to your kid or somebody else’s? The unfortunate incidents happen to millions of people and it can happen to anybody. How to secure the life of our close ones and ourselves? We need to look at reality and plan the same. How do you will your property? How will your near ones know what all you have in your name? Many times people would not know all the wealth stored by their near ones even after death, as they never had a plan of disclosing till their death. Everybody keeps the secret till the end and before you know, they are dead.

How are the women securing themselves? Many marriages fail, and at the end of the day, the woman is left to fend for herself. If she is not working, life is difficult. Many people do not even realise that they have to secure themselves, expecting the unexpected. It is like prenuptial agreement. You are trying to make it work, at the same time you are securing for the unexpected. The problem with Indians is that they assume once you are married everything is settled. It will be just like their parents and relatives. The life will go on till you get old. Things are changing; do not underestimate the reality of the present. Have you prepared yourself, in case the spouse is lost either by loss of life or divorce?  

Have you prepared yourself to be a single parent or a new parent when the new partner comes along?  What is the guarantee you will do justice with your kid? Or have you thought of your kid losing both the parents? Who will be there for the kid? We do not even have an authentic foster care for these situations in the country. They end up with nearer ones who only want their parent’s money and not them. 

People are so engrossed in acquiring wealth; they neglect everything from family, society and themselves. Wealth is given utmost importance in their personal life, they do not even realise what happens to that wealth, in an unfortunate incident. The same discussion turned funny, about the possibilities of what can happen to that wealth in an untimely loss of life. Just imagine who all will be waiting for the opportune moment to get to your vault. Usually the unwanted ones, whom you have kept away, end up conning and taking advantage of the situation.

Life is uncertain. Anything can happen to anybody. It is the level of preparedness we have which matters. It is not easy to accept. When there is a loss of life or disability, the family goes through lot of emotional turmoil. And finally everything comes to man power and finances, it’s only human. 

I am just raising the above points of uncertainty. I am not giving you answers on my own. But looking at life in all perspectives is the way to life. Get out of tunnel vision and have broader perspective. 

PS: All the images are copied from Google search for illustraion.